5 minutes read time.

Why do we hate so easily? This question came to my mind as I keep seeing how people easily hate each other, but it’s so difficult for them to show love. It almost feels like loving someone is shameful. Love makes you vulnerable, where hate puts an armour. I remember when I was a child and in general, children are quite open with their feelings, showing love for them is easy. However, when we become adults, showing love feels a taboo.

Why love became such a shame?
And why hate became a normality?

Looking at the state of the world – it is scary. Hate is everywhere, between everyone. For the most stupid/smallest things. We are so separate, however, all we want is to connect. Human nature is to connect.

Have you ever tried smiling at strangers and seeing their reaction? Have you done the opposite too? Being angry and seeing how they react? I personally noticed such a big difference when I’m in a certain mood and it seems like people around tune in to that mood. It’s like we get into same energy/frequency.

In Lithuania people never smile at each other. In the UK people smile to each other very often and I love that. I do that too as much as I can. Because just a smile to each other can make someone’s day better.

I think hate is easier because people think they show their strength by hating. I think strength is actually not in hate. Strength is when you’re capable of loving everyone and everything. No matter how they look or who they are. Yes, I do hate people who kill, rape, abuse. Because they project their own hate to others and that’s not fair. No one should suffer, because you’re unhappy.

So, a lot of people project their own hate of themselves to others. Because how can we express love to someone else if we don’t love ourselves? When we’re unhappy with ourselves, we easier notice what might be ”wrong” in someone else. It’s same with people who grow up in dysfunctional environments, they can become themselves dysfunctional, where people who grew up in safe environments are usually healthier.

Also, a lot of people don’t admit they hate themselves, so it is easier to focus on hate for other people as then you don’t have to acknowledge yourself. It is basically shame. We’re scared of shame, so we try to ignore it and project it on others. But none of us are perfect and all of us can try to change as long as we’re capable of!

Lithuanian Youtuber recently made a video about hate which is interesting that I saw that since I’ve planned to write about this a month ago. (I plan my posts for 1 month ahead).

He was saying that we can look at hate as opposite of what people like. If someone says they hate someone speaking fast = they like someone who speaks slower. If someone hates pink colour = they like blue colour. That’s an interesting perspective, however, that excuses the hate. If someone doesn’t like gay people, we can say that means they like straight people. That’s okay, but you shouldn’t hate someone, just because they are different than you. It is okay to be different, and we should praise being different.

I think it is okay to hate or love something. But it is not an excuse now to abuse those people who are different. Everyone deserves respect unless they actually abuse, kill, rape etc. I’m sure you’ve heard that respect is earned. I don’t agree. We all deserve to be respected just as we are. As human beings. And respect can be lost.

Same with trust. I will trust people, but if you break my trust in you, that’s your fault and we can’t go back from there.

Same for love. We all deserve to be loved, but if you do something that harms another human being or animal or nature – well, I cannot love you. However, some people may change. Some don’t.

Just as an example. Have you seen animals hating each other? Or plants? Yes, some animals kill to survive, same as some plants. Or some kill or attack to protect themselves – again – to survive. Our survival brain is still very in charge, and we can see that in many many people in a world. I wasn’t an exception. I was living in survival mode which made me be incapable of loving myself and therefore, I had people who didn’t love me either.

One of the biggest lessons, I’ve learned from my abusive ex-partner – his abuse and hate towards me, showed how much I didn’t love and hated myself….. He was just a mirror of my inner world.

Now I’m stepping into the life where I love myself as I am and it is hard. But you know what, I will always choose to love rather than hate. Because hate brings destruction, where love brings connection. No one wants to be alone, but all we are doing to each other is separation. Why?