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How are you?

I really would like to communicate more with my readers so, if you don‘t like typing emails, find me on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/eagle_sky3/?hl=en

Last this month post. It is only first month of 2019 but I’ve already experienced so much that I could even write a book. Literally, I went through the hell and heaven. And I chose heaven. I chose the light. And I have no idea why I was doubting. But I was. Anyway, as a said, all roads leads there, where you supposed to be. I went off the road but I appeared in there where I had to be.

This year I want to be braver talking about themes we are afraid to talk. This year I want to be braver and show true me for the world. I saw and faced with a lot of things this month. But I know that everyone is good. All people are good. Just our experiences makes us act differently.

And now I want to explain what happened.

I don‘t know how moon eclipse influenced you. For me, super blood wolf moon opened eyes cause I was in the deep deep mist. I saw signs of universe, I saw signs for protection and warnings. But the mist didn‘t let me to analyze them. You will agree that at the fog time we can see only close things but not the whole view. Same with my signs of universe. I saw them clearly but I couldn‘t understand them message.

So, what happened? Because of other people and a lot of bad situations I started to depreciate myself. I’ve lost love for myself. I’ve lost a will to go my way. I’ve lost a will to appreciate my life. I became a victim, poor and unwanted girl. I even didn’t notice that I’ve started to say for everyone – everything is so difficult. Everything is going to be bad. Everyone acts with me cruel. And so on and on….. But who for real took inside me this negativity?

I

I let negativity in. I let darkness in my soul in. Why? I have no answer for that. Maybe I needed to experience darkness to understand whom I really belong and where do I wanna go. And I want to follow the light.

Here it is a good quote explaining this:

„An entire sea of water can‘t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly the negativity of the world can‘t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you“.

This weekend I had a lot of pain. Maybe pain in understanding that not everything is the way I thought… I‘m so shocked to accept the REAL reality. Anyway, I‘m glad that I can see what most of people are not able to. But I‘m not happy that I put dark in my pocket and that is how it worked on my falls.

I disconnected from social media. I disconnected from other people and I’ve started one of the most difficult conversations – conversation with myself…..

All, not so long, my life I fought for the goodness and positivity. I always searched for the light in the darkest room. I will tell you about my dreams.

Generally, I had a fear to stay alone in the dark. I feared dark even more if lights unexpected turned off. Maybe this fear came from horror movies about spirits.

So, eventually, my consciousness started to fight. I’ve started to dream these kind of situations. And in my dreams, all the time when light was gone, some bad spirits came to harm me. Once I woke up and thought – enough. I begun to fight with these dreams. If the lights or candles turned off I’ve always said to myself (in dreams) that it is not reality, there is no dark and that I‘m only dreaming. And after a few dreams, believe it or not, the lights started to turn on. I even could to express the light by myself. Now I have no fear for staying alone in the dark, cause I know – I can turn on light in the dreams. I can easily to do that in reality.

Fighting for yourself motivates others to do the same. And I have a super strong warriors by my side. And when I understood how I underestimate myself I’ve lost confident in myself. I just could saw only what I cannot to do….

For real. I let darkness in my life. So what, if I made a mistake? So what, if I made a wrong decision? Somebody cares? No one. Except myself. So why I have to drown myself and become weak… Bad experiences don‘t make a person weaker. It makes him stronger. And I‘m not a victim. Doesn’t matter how bad my life was, I’ve never thought that I‘m poor kid. I’ve always observed surroundings and if somewhere I couldn’t feel good, I founded a place where I could feel the best. If people around me disrespected me, I always founded those, who respects. BUT. Recently it was opposite.

I stopped to fight. I gave up. All I was thinking about – „I‘m not giving goodness to life. I can‘t do everything perfectly. Why someone even wants to be with me?

That is so terrible that I let myself to think like that. Those thoughts are from devil. Angels won‘t say anything like this. An angel will always support you. I’ve apologized a cosmic protection for not believing in myself. I insulted all universe as I thought that I‘m nothing. Existence is the most important and expensive things of all. We have no right to depreciate ourselves. We have no right blame something that we live our life. We supposed to appreciate and be happy for this gift. We also need to let only good things in our life.

That moon eclipse opened my eyes so widely. I literally was doing nonsense’s. I divided myself for others because I didn‘t care about myself. And I didn‘t think about consequences.  

Thanks to God I understood that I was wrong. Well, I had to burn as now I have scarf which will remind me about this. I know that fire hurts. But that is the main point. Fire is not the light as you may thought. Fire belongs to the hell. Not the heaven.

So,

Something today didn‘t went well? Then do new thing and see where you made a mistake. Maybe circumstances determined these things.

You have a bad day? Find even small thing that could make you happy or makes you to smile. (For example I love to watch funny animals and people videos).

Someone hurt you? Then write to somebody who loves you. I can bet you will find at least one who loves you. And that may be not your love of the life. It might be an animal.

Come on!

You always can find the light. 😉