Hellooo

I have not done these since 2022 I believe.

This year, I won’t be giving you specific events, because there are sooo many things that have happened – it is crazy! You know, if someone told me in 2020 that this is how my life looks like 5 years later, I would have genuinely said – WTF???

What I wanted to share is what I have learned. I think life is a proper school, there are always new things to learn. I remember, I was maybe 20 or 22 and I thought – oh I have figured out everything. Absolutely not. I don’t think like this anymore, because I do think we change, we learn and improve all the time.

So, my top 10 takeaways from this year:

10. Trust in Universe (or God or whatever you believe in). I lost my belief throughout the years and that is upsetting. However, I do think – everything works out as it should be, we end up where we were supposed to. Even if sometimes we don’t understand why. If you believe that everyone is a Universe experiencing itself, it all makes sense. We all came from nothing, became something and will turn to nothing. We are all connected, we are all stars. We are the cosmos. Everything works out the way it is supposed to.

9. We repeat lessons until we learn. This one hit me hard this year because I have realised how many patterns I keep repeating and following through years and years. All the clues were there, all repeating things – I was just clueless. I didn’t realise. If something keeps repeating in your life, like situations with people or experiences – there most likely is a reason and you are not learning something you are supposed to. Keep noticing.

8. Your values and boundaries will determine how your life will go. If you don’t have them – you are easier to control and manipulate. If you don’t have rules you live by – you are easier to take advantage of. If you care more what other people think, rather what you think – you are easier to influence. It doesn’t only go to people you know, it expands to government control too.

7. Learn about yourself and improve yourself. This year I have started therapy, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it and how much I personally improved. We all like to think that we are perfect, that we don’t need help, that everything is fine in our lives. Truth is, we all need help sometimes. For me personally, having therapy is a big personal achievement because this is something I was thinking to do for yeeeeaaars.

6. Love yourself. I know sounds cheesy and very obvious but I didn’t realise how low is my self-esteem until I started healing and getting into situations where I was like talking to myself hate speeches including – go away, you are a burden, you don’t deserve to be here, you can’t do anything and etc. I had such a big fight with myself, and it was just one, another couple are going to be waiting for me in a future. When I realised how much I hate myself – it was shocking. That hate didn’t come from nowhere; it is coming from somewhere where we learned it. So yeah, I am slowly starting to love myself, to fight with my personal criticism and in general worth. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? We are all here for a reason and we all are here because we are needed.

5. Ask for help. That’s all I can say. Ask for it. Don’t think you can do everything yourself – you can’t. I thought this way for many years, and you know what? It is bad. We all need each other and people do like to help. So, if you struggle with something. Ask for help.

4. Your relationship is a mirror to your childhood. Unfortunately, it is what it is. Intimate relationships are going to uncover everything what you have had in childhood. And if you had traumatising childhood, that will definitely impact your relationship negatively. Speaking from my own experiencing, when I look now at my last relationship and my childhood – ohhh it resonates. A lot. That is how psychology works – we attract what we were taught to attract.

3. When you hit rock bottom – do everything what you can to get yourself up. Don’t stay in, it is not worth it. Remember, this is your life and you are living for yourself, not for someone else! Follow the things you love and enjoy. Our mind can make things look like a complete darkness but try smiling to a stranger and you will see how big of a difference it makes, when we start connecting to people. Choose light.

2. How others behave with you – says nothing about you. This personally to me was a massive revelation – other people feelings and actions are not my responsibility. I only have responsibility for my own feelings and actions. First time I spoke with psychotherapist – I was describing what my abusive ex-partner did. She then asked me – do you understand that him being angry is not your fault? And I was like – what do you mean? And she explained that the way he reacts and behaves is his responsibility because he is the one who chooses to behave like that. My whole life I was taking responsibility for the way people behaved with me, always thought I did something wrong and this conversation helped me to realise that – hell yeah, I am not responsible for other people behaviour and actions. I can only take my own accountability. It is like same as if victims who were killed by serial killers would say it was their fault. Not it wasn’t. Same for me. I still sometimes overthink when someone does something – did I do something wrong and provoke them but that’s wrong. I sometimes do something that I shouldn’t have or hurt someone, but I take accountability. However, other person feelings and actions – it is up to them. We don’t provoke anyone to act the way they act or to feel the way they feel. They choose it. And it is up to them to deal with their own feelings and actions.

1. Do the things you want even if they look scary. There won’t be – another day, another life, or another chance. Do what you want – try it, don’t overthink and don’t care what other people think. Just do you. Do what you want to. Go experience things. Go engage with people. Do things that look scary. I personally, I have done manyyy things this year that were fucking terrifying. I did it and you know what? I am proud. You know how I would have felt if I didn’t try? Disappointed. I will always say – try it. Do it. Even if the outcome is not what you expected – in the end – you are not losing anything – you are just getting rid of what is not meant for you! And how else can you know if something is meant for you, if you don’t try it?

2025 is ending – what a year!

Happy 2026 everyone and I wish that all of our lives would become better and improve. Let’s have new beginnings in 2026 that we deserve.