Hello,

what to do when life goes the way we didn’t expect?

I started asking myself this recently as I keep experiencing things I didn’t expect or certainly wanted.

Many say – don’t expect or lower your expectation. But what if I expected nothing and things went for worse? Or life went the way I didn’t want to?

I saw on TikTok random Tarot reading video and lady was talking things exactly the way I was experiencing. She said that this is exactly what I was asking from Universe and in order to become a better person we sometimes need to go through changes that are not good. Some things we can only learn certain way. Meaning, that some changes are rough and can break us, but it is all a part of what we initially wanted as those bad things should make us better and more experienced. As much as I understand that point and I totally agree. I cannot accept it.

I don’t know why but I cannot accept that this is a change, a bad experience I need to go through. I know that changes cannot be always nice and good, but as much as I know I am suffering and I am so unhappy, I don’ want to accept it. Do I wanna live this way? No. But it is so difficult to let it go. Let it go your expectations, good memories and etc. I’ve lost too many people in my life and adding one more to my list is just breaking me at this point.

I’ve realised that loosing people that once were important to me, truly breaks me. I don’t want it to be this way. You know I see people where they have friends since their childhood for 20 years and they still are friends. I see couples being together for decades. I keep questioning – well, why I cannot have it? What is wrong with me, what I am doing incorrect that everything just keeps leaving…..

I know that happened few times where I stepped away from certain people as it didn’t align with me anymore and I guess that is what happening with some people that were with me, it just doesn’t align with their life or their needs. But it hurts no matter what.

Even if talk about career, life and etc. Things do go the way I didn’t expect. Did I expect to live now in Glasgow? No. Did I expect to work as administrator? No. Do I want those things? Well, Glasgow and Scotland in general becoming the country I love and appreciate. Didn’t feel good in England, but here feels nice. Job? Obviously good opportunity now. But not the thing I want to do in a future.

I do understand that spiritual meaning of life, where Universe does things so later it makes sense but what if it doesn’t?

We like to believe that we are special and that everything goes by the plan of Universe, but does it actually?

I was a true believer in spirituality, signs and had those things, I am slowly starting to lose that belief. It’s difficult to believe when things start to go wrong way.

When I came to the UK and started studying Master’s in Film Production, I genuinely thought I am aligned with Universe, all is good, I then met a boyfriend, which was like wow, I met someone that I truly believed that was meant for me. What a coincidence, that person from Slovakia will be in same city, where I came to study from Lithuania.. It felt like it was meant to be.

I felt awesome, the happiest person at that moment. Until everything turned around. All those things that I thought were meant for me are disappearing and hurting. That is one of the reasons, why it is difficult to accept for me, that this is an outcome I have received.

It feels like Universe just punched me in a face and I cannot get over this. Feels unfair. That is probably the best way I can explain it.

That Tarot reading I saw, was saying to trust the process, be stronger as all bad things/changes will go. I cannot express how difficult it is for me to believe it… Throughout these years I lost my all positivity, beliefs and I guess I lost myself. I already thought I was in deep deep black bottom, where I almost lost myself, but I am getting feeling I am there now again but this time it’s even worse.

What do we do when life goes unexpected ways?

I truly don’t know. Saying – trust the process – definitely doesn’t help. Maybe meditation can help, sometimes focusing on other things can help (distraction). I think at this point distraction is acceptable, because feeling of everything going wrong is just. No. Cannot handle. Maybe one way it is good to know, that I am emotional human being who suffers and appreciates things so much, that it is difficult to let it go. But maybe learning to accept things that go away will make it easier in a future.

As there was written in one book, sometimes you need to stop and let waves take you. I feel this way right now. Just stop and let Universe take care of things as fighting for something that is not meant for me is not worth it and maybe that is the reason why the more, I fight, the more it hurts me.