Hello,

I wanted to talk about love as I realized one important thing. Why do we have this nonsense expectation that love just comes and we have it. Like you know in those movies, when people meet each other and they already have that perfect love? Or like how from young age we are brainwashed in looking for our soulmate or more like that special feeling person gives to us and we consider that is love.

That is not how it should be.

I had a realisation. If you want to have a good career – you need to do what? Correct, do hard work. You want to improve yourself – work, you wanna have money – work, you wanna have good kids – work with them, you wanna have good friendship – again work.

Why nobody talks that if you want to have a good love, again, you need to WORK. Exactly same way you are reaching career and other things. You need time, effort, fights, good days and bad days. If you wanna have a beautiful love you need to work on that.

But usually this is not how it is portrayed in our society. No. Our society is teaching us that we should find our love immediately perfect for us and immediately have best moments in your life. That is fake love and it is not even a love. It is just a quick feeling that we get when we have attraction to somebody. It fades away. I guess majority of people have this attraction/crush when they meet people in school, university and maybe clubs or other places. We get a crush but we do not realise that is not love. Love is and always will be very complicated and requires hard work. We need to earn it and unfortunately love is not perfect.

Think this way. Are you perfect? If you said yes, I guess you are narcissist. Simply, none of us are perfect and we all do some nonsense, we all do mistakes, we are bad guys in somebody else’s story. So why we are expecting our loved one to be perfect? That is just impossible. Love can become perfect. That is true. But it is never perfect when we just meet somebody! Love needs crafting.

Here is one example. You buy a lottery ticket and you get that exciting feeling, adrenaline or whatever as you hoping to win. If you do not win, you get upset. You might try again, or you might not. If you win, but small amount of money, you want to buy again and again until you get addicted. Because you get THAT feeling. Same it is with nowadays one night stands. They are just for THAT limited feeling that will fade away and it is not a love….

Another thing that makes me sad as people looking for somebody by their looks. They get attracted by somebody’s appearance and when they see the real personality they say – oh I lost the love or lost the attraction. Well, of course you did. It was never meant to last for a long. My point is – looks don’t matter because you going to have to deal with a personality in the end. Looks is nothing comparing to what actions people do and how they affect you. Somebody can look awesome but as soon as you get to know them you might see they have those so called red flags. There is a good thought, something about – you won’t rememeber what people said or done to you, but you ALWAYS remember how they made you feel. You not gonna remember how person looked like, but you will always rememeber how they made you feel. 😉

I also had this stupid and naive mindset about making lists on how my boyfriend should look like or what should they have or be like… Okay, honestly, I will admit, I did 2 of those. They came to true, but they came in a very wrong way. First time, the guy was exactly the looks I was into (green eyes, brown hair, slim, tan skin), but he was madly crushing on me, while I did not care at all. Second time, he was majority of my list, but in the end nothing happened because the guy didn’t have same feelings for me (at least so far as I understood). So… Those lists I made were very wrong!

You know why?

Because same as with career, or any other goals. Love has to have correct goals. For example, your goal is to have healthy and lifetime love life. Or your goal is to have love where relationship would be filled up with understanding, motivation and effort.

These are the goals we should set for love.

If you are the person who never writes their goals – start now. You will see the changes. You will see things coming to true. I learned that goals with love should be made as well. Actually it should be made with everything. Having a healthy life and love. Having safe and healthy environment to live in and etc. We focus on career but we forget daily goals that are way more important to our well-being!

xxxx Find love, work for that love and be happy! I wish all of you to find somebody that makes your life to have a bigger value. ❤