Hellooo,

so some changes happened in my life, that do have affect on me. One more time I trusted somebody and they broke my trust. I got really mad about everything and people are so cruel… Then I watched a vlog of somebody I knew for a bit and that person inspired me to talk it out. I made a video about it, but probably won’t publish it. I thought writing down would be better.

I was talking there about how we don’t know how to communicate, that a lot of problems wouldn’t even exist if people simply would talk. Yes, if we actually say what we feel, why we feel this or what bothers us, everything would be much easier. But people are so focused on themselves instead of collaboration. People only think about themselves and don’t think about the other.

Sorry to say, but since I came to UK I met a lot of people (from other countries) that are so selfish and they will do a lot of bullshit to you, sometimes behind your back. It seems like there is nobody to trust. Although, I did meet some good people and inspiring people but in the end there are so many those who would do anything for themselves and nothing, total nothing for the other.

Which I do not approve and tolerate. Yes, you need to think about yourself, but I think we all misunderstand loving ourselves and being egoistic. People think that to love yourself you need to be egoistic. No, this is exactly not love. Love doesn’t have requirements. You love yourself and you just want to share that love! You wanna show an example, to teach others how to love themselves and their unique features. Love means collaboration.

I know a lot of people will be jealous if you gonna share something good is happening in your life, that is why we usually hear that we shouldn’t share good things with others as others like to destroy it or they send bad energy and if you believe in energies, they can destroy things quickly.

But but but. We need to stay strong. Why we are letting bad energy win???

Another example, that people count self-love as a pure love while in reality is just an ego. I was in this event where I had to read poetry with famous Lithuanian writers and poets. I had to read for them. This opportunity came so unexpected and randomly.. I felt really uncomfortable being next to such an amazing people. I felt like I don’t deserve it. A bit later I finally found this girl that I could talk to. Oh my days…. All she was talking is about herself and her achievements. I mean yes, she did ask me, what did I achieve… What kind of awards do I have.. Where I studied…. I didn’t have anything to say as all my answers were not the ones she was looking for. It is one of the most dreadful conversations I ever had.

Why?

Because I couldn’t understand why we cannot talk about something else. Why we cannot talk what inspired us to create, how we came up with an idea to create and etc. This is what I am interested in. I don’t care about your awards. Tell me your story and I will tell you mine.

So yeah, people do keep breaking the trust even in simple conversations. Honestly, sometimes there is no need of actions, it is enough to talk with people to see that they might be not truthful next to you. That is disappointing and scary. I think we should be the opposite. Making sure we can trust each other and help each other!

Life is not competition, life is creation.

We all need to create. But what we do? We destroy: trust, meaning, love, happiness, nature, animals… Everything for the sake of being egoistic…

One more thing, if you don’t communicate (I don’t mean people who have social anxiety or other problems that makes you afraid to communicate but again this needs to be expressed for the other side) I can count you as a selfish person because instead of trying to understand other person perspective and their feelings, you putting yourself first and you are not putting effort in making it nice and clear for both of the sides.

Another thing I mentioned in my video is comfort zone. Since I came to UK I keep going through a lot of difficulties, honestly, there is always something keep happening to me and I feel bad being here. Truth is I started thinking about my native country, what I left there, how I missed everything. But the video I mentioned to you, reminded me, that without comfort zone we wouldn’t improve and wouldn’t reach what we want. Yes, comfort zone is safe and feels good. But it is temporary. I realised that this is actually what I wanted, I wanted to get out of comfort zone and improve myself. Being in UK is the most uncomfortable life stage I ever had. Honestly, I keep having challenges after challenges. Apparently, I still need to work on myself a lot and see the world for how it is. So much to see and life is preparing me. I just couldn’t realize until somebody else spoke about it. Liiittle tiny bit I think this was a message to me from universe and although I am really tired of those challenges I will keep going. This motivated me to keep going.

I should focus where I am right now instead of thinking about the past and I should appreciate what I have right now instead of crying what I had before. Same goes to all of you. And if you want to change something – for God sake – CHANGE IT. You can definitely do it. ❤