HELLO.
So, I’ve started to notice that everything has an energy. Friends, events, jobs, universities and etc. And if you trust your intuition, sometimes you can feel that with particular things something isn’t right. Like, you meet someone and that feels not good. Or you participate somewhere and once again comes a bad feeling. It is hard to describe that feeling because for me it’s just not a good feeling on my heart, like something heavy is put on, I’m not happy or excited.
I will give you an example. I was participating in one event at the bar in my hometown where I had to read my own poetry. After almost a year (because of the “lovely” coronavirus) I needed to remember how to act in front of a public. Don’t you think that everyone goes on a stage without a preparation. Maybe 1% does that. So, I always prepare for my readings and that gets me so nervous and full of fear. Because I feel responsibility for my words. I need to know that my poetry touches someone. Doesn’t matter in what way but they must feel emotion. So yeah. After that event, when I did what I wanted I was extremely happy, I was energized. I even forgot what happened on the stage. I was so tuned in what I got to say that I even forgot how long I stood there. Anyways. I felt good. I felt amazing.
And here it comes more readings. For three days in a row. International Poetry festival in Lithuania. I don’t want to say anything bad about this festival or its managers, but after every reading something felt off. Well, actually my last reading let me feel a little bit better. But still after every event on that festival I felt bad… Like energy was so unhealthy, full of bad vibes.. Something always seemed for me wrong. I felt like nobody cared you know.. And I don’t know 100% why. Maybe it’s just in my mind, maybe I don’t feel deserved to be called a poet, or maybe people who where there are not mine. But this bad energy I feel for all 4 years that I’ve been reading at those events. So, nothing changed. Something is not right. Also, I understood that I’m person of people. Like, I want to touch with my words people who are completely strangers who do not even care about art or poetry. I want to make difference, but I have my audience…
And overall I think, when everything is right you should feel excited, happy, full of energy. Like it should feel right in your heart. There are things that can’t go well with our personality. No matter what we do or who we meet it should feel good. Not the otherwise.
Also, I want to encourage everyone to be brave and say no to the things which doesn’t make us happy. Because we are afraid to say no, we are afraid to make wrong decisions. But this is how experience comes. And firstly, we should prioritize our health. Appreciate new experiences, say yes for them. But if you feel that something is off – forget that and move on (same is with people who doesn’t apply to you). Don’t repeat it. Try something else. Experience is our guide to our true life path. LISTEN to your heart and intuition. And say no to the things which makes you feel low!
FOLLOW ME HERE:
Egle Ku 