Hi!

Recently, my time flies in a cosmic speed. I don‘t know why and how my hours flies like minutes and months like days. But this is how it is. It makes me feel frustrated as I can‘t spend my time with friends and also to rest. For now, I‘m feeling pretty good but happened a few things I wish to forget…

1 month till the next year. Only one.

What YOU have done so far at this year?

What events was the best or the worst? How are you feeling?

Well, as you know, year review will be written in the end of December. So now, I want to make conclusions about my autumn. This study year I received a lot of gifts. But with gifts came new lessons and unseen views.

But firstly, why I‘m saying that I need more time. I’ve started to work by my specialization, also I‘m in the last course of my studies and I didn’t quit choir. Let‘s plus meetings with friends, trips and other events. I have no time for myself. And tiredness hit me at November 14th when my patience glass dried up.

In November 13th about 10 pm I went home from choir rehearsal and I saw a view- – some kind of men talks to someone and walks away. I looked to the same way he talked and I saw a little black kitty. He sadly mew at me. I have had the opportunity to catch the cat but every time it was unsuccessfully. This time I carried my clothing for choir concert, an umbrella and telephone in my hands. But I thought – I will try my best. 😀 And I tried. I had the kitty in my hands but he scratched me at my face and I let him go. He run on the street and I prayed that any car wouldn’t hit him. Once, I had saw how car hits the cat and how he was suffering, so, I didn’t want to see that again. I had sweeties in my backpack and I thought kitty will get interest in them. So, he came back and he started to walk up on house pipe and I took him. Kitty didn’t run away he just lied down on my hands…

I knew that my mom would never let me bring any kind of animal from the street. I knew that kitty will not stay at my home but at that rainy and cold day I couldn’t left him. Well, my mum didn’t yelled at me, she helped me to take care of this cute animal. I even thought we will take care of this kitty…

All night I couldn’t sleep I was looking after that cat. But I will make my point now. How I looked at this animal? She was my help to deal with myself. She was my peace and rest from all world. I thought that someone send me that cat for a purpose. But when I came to work and mum called me by saying – I found where we can leave this kitty, I was disappointed.

I knew that I need to go together with mum and I used my lunch break to do that. It wasn’t difficult to sit in the bus cause kitty was calm and all the time looked at my eyes. I think she understood what is happening. Finally, when we reached the shelter and I heard dogs barking I couldn’t stop crying. I just couldn’t understand how you can throw away animal and even to give away animal at this place. So, women’s looked at the kitty and said that she is alright. But that didn’t stop my mom. After we left the shelter I just couldn’t talk with her. I went back to workplace alone and I tried to hide my emotions but that didn’t went well.. This situation was enough for me.

Enough to know that people locks up animals into the cages.

Enough to know that you want to make changes but someone doesn’t let you.

Enough to know that someone always has more power than you.

About a week I couldn’t forgive to my mum. But I had a trip with choir and I even didn’t tried to talk with her. I left town with broken heart and absolutely with no smile in the face.

Well, I thought that I have saw everything cruel thing in this world but now I know that hell no.

At that day I felt how emotionally tired I am. I missed writing and creativity.

Trip with choir helped me a lot. Everything now is fine. We traveled to the Sea city. And only nature can bring me back to life. Now, I‘m craving for being in the nature more. My eyes sees only old town, cafe‘s and buildings. Nature is one and only peace to my soul.

So, my autumn was cozy, remarkable and with a few lessons.

Anyway, I can‘t stop wonder how people can act cruel. I can‘t understand why we always want to harm someone. But maybe it is just me who doesn’t understand that.

Maybe You have a better days? I would be happy to know that, cause as more peace inside us we have more beautiful world becomes. I know that we will need much more time to get rid off jealousy, cruelty, betrayal, revenge and bad moods. Centuries or even thousand years. But we can always start from NOW.

I remembered my one thought. When I was walking in the dark Vingis park I saw a lights showing nice trees shadows.

And my thought was – The darkness is nothing compared to light. 🙂