A few weeks ago I’ve started to think about friendship. I understood that friendship has no rules. It is unique and indefinite thing. All friendships can be so different as people are different. But I noticed that friendships in adult life and in the childhood has a lot of differences. Just try to remember your friendships in childhood. Easy, simple, without any betrayals, maybe a few childish dramas. They were so clear. You knew who is your best friend. Betrayal? It didn’t exist. I remember that I had a few best friends. From casual school, music school and etc.

Nowadays outlook at friendship changed a lot. Everybody changed their minds what friendship means for them. There is no such a thing as best friend. There is no light in friendship and nothing demanding meetings anymore. Everybody cares about what benefit you can give, how you act in difficult situations. Others just want to know if they can trust you and so many other factors which help us to appreciate friends. One friends are close to us, some are not. But all friendships has differences. Well, if you know that friend is more closely to you than the other, you will give more effort for him.

So, it makes me sad. I feel sad because I understood that I don‘t like my close friends point of view about friendship. And I know that I can do nothing about it. I just need to accept and understand that I‘m lonely. I‘m alone when something bad happens or when something good happens. You just enjoy moments by yourself.

I think nowadays outlook at friendship is sick. Social media made us everyone friends… Because if something happens I have 300 friends on Facebook! Someone definitely will be my new friend…. I think it is stupid. Even to compare friend with your true love is stupid. It is so stupid that we are not appreciating friendships and we have so many demands to others like we are so special by some questionable reasons…

People who are famous must choose friends carefully. But why on earth we need to do that? Because someone can betray us? Maybe because we need them all the time? Or maybe because we need someone who can help us in difficult situations? But why we have so high demands now? Why friendship can‘t stay strong, simple and clear? What is changed?

I have only one friend from my childhood. I don‘t know for how long we will be friends but she is the only one who don‘t have any demands and understands that friendship is just two people wish to meet, trust, enjoy each other company and nothing else.

I‘m also angry as I’ve started to make those demands too. I think if someone is important for you and you have no time to meet, you can always write a message. I’m angry cause I know there can‘t be any demands. Friendship has to be free and important thing is one – a wish to communicate. Of course, if you give to a certain friend a huge amount of your time that friendship will be stronger. You won‘t tell the stories which happened six months ago for someone. Just because it isn’t important anymore. 

I don‘t know how friendship should look as there is no rules. But sometimes I am pissed off when you know that you are the only one who puts effort in a certain friendship. It is so annoying when friendship starts to die and other asks – why this is happening? Oh well, maybe because you didn’t care back then about our friendship?

So everyone must think what they do and what they don‘t do about friendship. Especially when you want that friendship to last more than a few years. And if you put no effort why do you even need that person in your life?

Also I really „love“ the answer – please understand, we live our life, not always there is time for friends… So why you even need a friend then? Is it just for the bad moments? And when he will need your help you will say – sorry, I‘m living my life I can‘t help you??? Routine can‘t let you to hear other person problems? Funny…

It seems like I ask not so much. Just a simple conversation or one hour walk.. But we all living our life and we have no time.. Neither for others, neither for ourselves… But where we are rushing? Why we live?

It so sad that nowadays friend is a tool and not a part of life… That says that we are alone. Well, in my case I can deal with problems by myself. I don‘t bother with my feelings. It seems like I live only for other people problems…

I have no reproach for friends. I just know that we all have different point of view at the friendship. We all have many demands. And I don‘t care about these demands cause I don‘t want them. Just enough.